E-man!

I get to see this little guy in exactly ONE week! The cute little stinker!


YAY! I am SO excited to see him walk and watch his reaction to his first birthday party! :) And We are going to go swimming with him at the pool that his Daddy Nate has never been too. Can't beat all the Labor Day fun we always have in Iowa!

I have had an awful day.... I haven't been this angry in a very long time. Every time I think I get it under control it comes back full force, worse than before. I am so fed up with this company its not even funny. I am tried of the favoritism showed some people and the lack of understanding shown to others. I can't imagine how any of it could be made any better. There is no solution. There is no "quick fix." Yet, I am sick of dealing with it all. I want out in the worst way, but I know I can't leave. I know my leaving will do nothing to fix the issues. I know my saying something will do nothing to fix the issues. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and it SUCKS!

It took me until lunch today to remember this song from AG in FoCo during high school. But when I did, it was exactly what i needed to hear. I keep going over the lyrics in my head knowing they are true, but not wanting to give it all over to Him yet....


God is bigger than the air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day and all will say
My glorious!

-"My Glorious" as sung by Delirious?

I know God is bigger than this situation, and I know He will save the day, its His timing I am not willing to trust.... How spoiled is that? I am holding onto this so tightly not because I don't trust God to take care of it and save the day, but because I don't want to have to WAIT for Him to do so. I'm such a baby sometimes.

Lord, I repent of this attitude right now. This situation is not my own to deal with. You are the only one who can make any sense out of it all. You are the only one who can make people understand their decisions. Come be Lord in this situation and make the outcome bring Glory and Honor to Yourself as well as good to those who love You. I am sick and tired of holding this inside, I want out, but not out of the situation, I want out of this anger and worry and concern and all-consuming hatred. Because if I am hating then I am not loving. And if I am not loving I am not serving You. I'm sorry for my attitude, Lord. Change my Heart O God, Make it ever true. Change my heart O God, make me more like You. In Jesus' Precious Name, Amen and Amen.



The above is the most transparent I have been on this blog. Writing is how I work things out in my head and in my heart. That is what this blog is about, not the situation, not the lack of answers, but the working out of something that is so incredibly frustrating to me....

New SONG

I am writing a new song at the moment...ok, its done. I'm just putting the final touches on it!

I LOVE it when they just come out instead of me banging my head against a wall to write a song.

I am going to try to record it tonight along with two others.....IF I can get the mic to work with the computer tonight...last time it was not so fun!



Later on....

A few minutes after I posted this the power went off in the building and I lost the WHOLE SONG! As soon as the computer turned back on I tried my best to remember it, but there are two lines I just can't seem to remember. I guess I will keep trying until I do (or until I come up with something better!). Sad Day! :)

Moving Moving Moving

This one started crawling!




And this one walked TEN (shaky) steps all by himself yesterday!


I'm so proud of my nephew and niece!

YETI

Tuesday

I get this super-cool looking microphone from UPS today (purchased last week from Amazon for a fraction of the normal price-if you want one buy it soon before the price goes back up).







I am excited to record lyrics to a song I finished quite awhile ago that I just can't get out of my head...maybe after I record them I will be able to sing a different song (or write a different song!). :) Yay! I will update this when I get it.


Wednesday
Got it! And took it out of the box...its HUGE! No wonder they call it a "Yeti!" I can kind of see the resemblance to the abominable snowman...LOL. I didn't use it last night, opting instead to pick all of the weeds out of the rocks on the side of our driveway and some of the weeds in the flower beds. Maybe tonight!

Mandi Hayen

Mandi and Misti are twins. They are alike in just as many ways as they are different. Mandi went home to be with the Lord and dance on streets of gold at the end of last week. This is just one more difference to add to the list. Now Mandi is there and Misti is here....
Please pray for Misti and her husband Jonas as well as the rest of Misti's family. This is a tragic loss, but one God will use for ultimate good. There is nothing else to say, Mandi is gone. While I know she is dancing and laughing and loving better than she has ever done before it breaks my heart to know Misti and Jonas and their family have to go through this. Pray they cling to the King.

Gone

D & B are gone.... They are in Okyland now. Ready to start new lives and experience new things and learn more than they could possibly retain.

My heart broke as we said goodbye on Tuesday night. We may have known each other only fifteen months, but we (the four of us) have been through so much, both together and separately, in those months that is makes it seem like a lifetime. I tried to be encouraging as they were leaving, but I couldn't do it. All I could do was cry at the incredible loss I felt. I then proceeded to feel guilty, I mean, they are following the Lord's leading. Moving to the great unknown because they both feel led to go to school at Rhema starting this fall. I know they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and I know it is hard for them-I've been there.

I was the one who moved to North Dakota to go to school six years ago. That was me, which only makes it that much harder. I KNOW what they are going through, but I can do nothing to help them. I can say nothing that will make it easier for them. My memory fails me when I try to remember encouraging things that were said or done for me when I moved away. I think this side is more difficult to handle than theirs. After all, they are beginning a grand adventure and I just have to let life go on-either around me or as a part of it.

Enough sadness! I'm excited to start a new chapter in my life as well. A time to strengthen our marriage, a time to draw closer to the King, a time for a few changes. Please pray with me for D & B. D has a job interview tomorrow morning and B is beginning her job hunt.

The Redemption Series

Having just finished this series (alright, it was a few weeks ago, but still, I read it recently!) I have to say I am looking forward to reading the Firstborn Series (the continuation of the Baxter Family story line along with some new story lines).

Redemption:
Redemption tells the story of Kari and her struggling marriage while introducing us to the rest of the Baxters and setting up story lines for the future books. Throughout this book I was rooting for Kari and her first love rather than Kari and her husband Tim. By the time they began to work things out I was disappointed, but resigned to the fact that Love, indeed, is a choice. Kari was choosing to honor her husband by leaving her high school love in every possible way so as to devote herself to her husband and her marriage. The end of this book was not shocking since it had been set up from the very beginning. The good thing is Kari and Tim's marriage was not longer on the rocks. In fact, they were better than ever, which left Kari in a good position (even though it was hard).

Remember:
This book follows Ashley as she sorts through her past. She learns to love again by remembering not only the good times and God's faithfulness, but His great LOVE for her through every step. Once Ashley realizes the good that came from her past she is able to open her heart and love again.

Return:
Return follows Luke's journey from turning his back on God to returning to his first love. When Luke realizes his past is not as far gone as he thinks it is he is reminded of God's faithfulness and love and he returns to his first love. The end of this book is amazing as Luke not only returns to God but to his future wife as well.

Rejoice:
This is not a particularly happy book as the title would lead you to believe. Brooke is busy leading her "perfect" life as she realizes it is slowly falling apart. Her daughter has an accident and we watch her marriage dissipate and revive. This book is about finding a way to rejoice all the time-regardless of your circumstances.

Reunion:
Reunion is all about both Elizabeth' (the head Mrs. Baxter)cancer diagnosis as well as Elizabeth and John's marriage-long secret. Yes, she dies at the end of the book, but not before her entire family spends a few weeks at a reunion at her house. And not before she gets closure for that secret. This book closes out the series by reminding one that God will work redemption in our lives, to remember the good times and the bad, to return to your first love (not only the Lord, but your spouse as well), and the rejoice in the Lord regardless of your circumstances. God comes out on top in the end, no matter what happens.


This series was written by Karen Kingsbury and Gary Smalley to illustrate some of Smalley's most important relationship advice. They do a wonderful job of tying it all together in a story of a family that could be the neighbors down the street (or even our own family at times).

A Calling

For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands.

For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.

Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity, but now has been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle and a teacher.

2 Timothy 1:6-11

The Last Hurrah

D&B are leaving for school on Wednesday...from Greeley on Tuesday. I am excited that they are following the Lord's leading in their lives. I'm glad they have been given a vision for their futures. However, I'm sad and disappointed that we missed out on three months of what little time we have had together. As hard as those three months without them were, I know that this parting from them will be different. As much as I would like to tie them up and lock them in my basement (jk, lol), I won't do that to them (and not because its illegal or wrong or anything...lol).

They sought after the Lord's will for their lives and have taken the necessary steps to follow His leading when He spoke. I'm proud of them. Very few people have what it takes to move eleven hours away from home with no job lined up on the other side. Very few people would have stood for two months waiting for roommates, a place to live, a job, and everything else that goes with moving that far away, while God went before him and prepared everything for him. Very few people have the deep trust in the Lord to move that far away from all they know and love (save the Lord) without the slightest idea of what kind of job or life she will have when she gets there.

All this to say, I am both sad and glad that they are leaving this week. Please pray for them as they make this journey and live out the next few years of their lives to the One who bought them at a price.

This weekend they joined us at the lake for some good fun in the sun. We had a blast with the jet skis, the races, the tube, the moss, the handstand competitions, the somersault competitions, the booty shorts, the huge waves, the warm water, and the bright sunshine. We are SO GLAD they came. We had a blast spending time with them on (and in) the water. I'm glad they decided to join us for a last hurrah before they head out to Okyland. Thanks D & B for a great day with hardly a shadow of the goodbyes to come!