Mom got out of the “joint” or WARD today at 1:00pm. God kindly arraigned (through Dad and some condo company) for Mom to have a two-bedroom condo until she gets to come home instead of a hotel room. This will make it MUCH easier to meet her food restrictions and such. Also, it is always easier when you have space for specific things (kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom, etc). Her sister Lana is here for the weekend so she should be getting her fill of laughter!
However, Hubbin was issued a Careless Driving ticket on Wednesday day for an incident on April 6, 2010…over twenty days ago! He supposedly hit (and ripped the bumper halfway off of) some pickup that he was parked next to in the King Soopers Parking lot after we had built valves that night. But he distinctly remembers looking in his mirrors while pulling out and NOT hitting it. Jose also remembers Hubbin telling him how close it was the next day but that he did NOT hit it when he pulled out. The cop just had to give a ticket to someone so he chose Hubbin…oh goodie! NOT! There is NO proof Hubbin did it and yet the cop gave him a ticket…what happened to “innocent until proven guilty?” His court date isn't until June, but he didn't even do it! So frustrating...
My Hubbin and I
Friday, April 30, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Closure
Why do we hold on to things for so long? Why is it so hard to let go even when we know it is the right thing to do? Why do we resist change so much? Is it a lack of self-confidence? A wondering if we will make it through to the end of a new adventure? Are we afraid? If so, of what? Is it a lack of trust?
I don't know. I think it is a mix of all of the above...we are afraid of change because we are comfortable where we are, we are in a "groove." We don't have the confidence in ourselves to believe we will make it because we don't trust that we are who GOD says we are...If we were to look in a mirror and see our reflection as GOD sees us, would it change us? What does that look like?
I had coffee with an old friend a few weeks ago. I went there a bit scared of what would happen. I was worried we would have nothing to say to each other. I was worried we would end up yelling at each other. I was worried the whole thing would go horribly. When I got there I didn't know how to interact with her, it has been SO MANY years and we are in such different places now. We didn't discuss anything serious. We didn't rehash any of our old differences. We just chatted about where we are in life and it was so...refreshing! So...simple. No profound breakthrough that rekindled our close friendship. Yet, in the end it was fine. I left that coffee shop with closure. The end to my thoughts of "what if" and "if only." What a blessing!
But it took me a good SIX MONTHS to get the nerve to agree to meet her. Even now I can't tell you why it took me so long or what I was so afraid of. All I know is I am SO GLAD I got over myself and just went. Despite my fear I took that step and I cannot express to you the FREEDOM it brought.
Yet, when it comes to the next step out of my box I fight just as hard...I don't want that door to crack open, let alone swing open wide! Will I ever learn to trust that step is worth it? Oh how I hope so, but for now I will fight with all my might to keep that door closed...as I wonder why I am doing so, my arms are getting tired and the door may swing soon! My curiosity is getting the best of me...I want to know what is on the other side, yet I am not quite ready to give up the comfort of knowing where I am...
I don't know. I think it is a mix of all of the above...we are afraid of change because we are comfortable where we are, we are in a "groove." We don't have the confidence in ourselves to believe we will make it because we don't trust that we are who GOD says we are...If we were to look in a mirror and see our reflection as GOD sees us, would it change us? What does that look like?
I had coffee with an old friend a few weeks ago. I went there a bit scared of what would happen. I was worried we would have nothing to say to each other. I was worried we would end up yelling at each other. I was worried the whole thing would go horribly. When I got there I didn't know how to interact with her, it has been SO MANY years and we are in such different places now. We didn't discuss anything serious. We didn't rehash any of our old differences. We just chatted about where we are in life and it was so...refreshing! So...simple. No profound breakthrough that rekindled our close friendship. Yet, in the end it was fine. I left that coffee shop with closure. The end to my thoughts of "what if" and "if only." What a blessing!
But it took me a good SIX MONTHS to get the nerve to agree to meet her. Even now I can't tell you why it took me so long or what I was so afraid of. All I know is I am SO GLAD I got over myself and just went. Despite my fear I took that step and I cannot express to you the FREEDOM it brought.
Yet, when it comes to the next step out of my box I fight just as hard...I don't want that door to crack open, let alone swing open wide! Will I ever learn to trust that step is worth it? Oh how I hope so, but for now I will fight with all my might to keep that door closed...as I wonder why I am doing so, my arms are getting tired and the door may swing soon! My curiosity is getting the best of me...I want to know what is on the other side, yet I am not quite ready to give up the comfort of knowing where I am...
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Stories From an Evening in the WARD!
I went down to visit Mom last night. Here is just a few of our conversations:
1) Via text message:
Me: “Be afraid, be very afraid. I am almost there!”
Mom: “No no not that!”
Me: “Yes! Yes! It is coming!”
Mom: “Going to hide”
Me: “ Coming to find you now…hehe”
Then I got there and instead of hiding she tried to scare me by sticking her face right next to the door when I opened it!
2) The neck story
We worked on her scrapbook until we ran out of pages, then she finds this catalog and proceeds to tell me this story…
Mom: “That nurse says she thinks I would look good with a short, blonde, bob (the haircut). But I told her I have this problem. I’ve had it my whole life! I’m tall and skinny, although not as skinny as I once was. And I have a LONG neck and a teeny tiny little head! When I was student teaching one of the students said I look like a turtle!
Me: “And you are scarred for life by this aren’t you? Do you need me to call the therapist?
Mom: “Oh shut up!”
Me: “Or the Psychologist who said he would come and visit you?”
Mom: “Oh he was here yesterday!”
Me: “Oh good. Next time be sure to discuss this turtle story.”
Mom: “Oh just help me pick out a wig!”
At which point I took that magazine and started holding it up so I could see what the wigs would look like on Mom…I don’t think she appreciated this though! lol
3) Courtney’s Birthday Gift
Shane and Courtney came a bit later…after dinner with her Mom because it was her Birthday (Happy Birthday again, by the way!).
Mom: “So Courtney, what did you get for your birthday?”
Courtney: “A crotch rocket!!!!!”
Mom: (gasping) “oh, uh, you didn’t waste any time answering that one! Did you get anything ELSE for your birthday?”
Courtney: “My brother painted a picture and then Shane went and visited him and bought it from him and gave it to me.”
Mom: “Now that’s a nice birthday gift.”
Courtney: “That’s the sentimental gift.”
Me: “So did you want a crotch rocket?”
At this point I’m pretty sure I should have been ROFLOL! Mom was in SHOCK that Shane had bought her a crotch rocket and that she didn't answer with the picture story right away. Amazing! lol
4) The neck story revisited
When Shane and Courtney showed up I told Mom she should ask Courtney’s opinion of the bob wig. She proceeded to tell the same turtle story and then got up to go to the bathroom while Shane and Courtney looked
While she was in the bathroom:
Courtney: “Long necks aren’t bad, I have a long neck (as she holds her neck with her hands) they are good. Models have long necks!”
Me: “You need to tell her that when she comes back out here.”
Courtney: “Ok, I will.”
Mom returns from the bathroom:
Shane: (pointing to a gray wig) “I think you should get this one!”
Mom: “You’re just saying that because its gray!”
Shane: (laughs) “So?”
Courtney: “Lynn, long necks aren’t bad. Models have long necks!”
Mom: (feeling her neck) “Oh! Well, if models have long necks..."
Now, since I know Mom will read this I can’t say what else this story has inspired, but it is good!
1) Via text message:
Me: “Be afraid, be very afraid. I am almost there!”
Mom: “No no not that!”
Me: “Yes! Yes! It is coming!”
Mom: “Going to hide”
Me: “ Coming to find you now…hehe”
Then I got there and instead of hiding she tried to scare me by sticking her face right next to the door when I opened it!
2) The neck story
We worked on her scrapbook until we ran out of pages, then she finds this catalog and proceeds to tell me this story…
Mom: “That nurse says she thinks I would look good with a short, blonde, bob (the haircut). But I told her I have this problem. I’ve had it my whole life! I’m tall and skinny, although not as skinny as I once was. And I have a LONG neck and a teeny tiny little head! When I was student teaching one of the students said I look like a turtle!
Me: “And you are scarred for life by this aren’t you? Do you need me to call the therapist?
Mom: “Oh shut up!”
Me: “Or the Psychologist who said he would come and visit you?”
Mom: “Oh he was here yesterday!”
Me: “Oh good. Next time be sure to discuss this turtle story.”
Mom: “Oh just help me pick out a wig!”
At which point I took that magazine and started holding it up so I could see what the wigs would look like on Mom…I don’t think she appreciated this though! lol
3) Courtney’s Birthday Gift
Shane and Courtney came a bit later…after dinner with her Mom because it was her Birthday (Happy Birthday again, by the way!).
Mom: “So Courtney, what did you get for your birthday?”
Courtney: “A crotch rocket!!!!!”
Mom: (gasping) “oh, uh, you didn’t waste any time answering that one! Did you get anything ELSE for your birthday?”
Courtney: “My brother painted a picture and then Shane went and visited him and bought it from him and gave it to me.”
Mom: “Now that’s a nice birthday gift.”
Courtney: “That’s the sentimental gift.”
Me: “So did you want a crotch rocket?”
At this point I’m pretty sure I should have been ROFLOL! Mom was in SHOCK that Shane had bought her a crotch rocket and that she didn't answer with the picture story right away. Amazing! lol
4) The neck story revisited
When Shane and Courtney showed up I told Mom she should ask Courtney’s opinion of the bob wig. She proceeded to tell the same turtle story and then got up to go to the bathroom while Shane and Courtney looked
While she was in the bathroom:
Courtney: “Long necks aren’t bad, I have a long neck (as she holds her neck with her hands) they are good. Models have long necks!”
Me: “You need to tell her that when she comes back out here.”
Courtney: “Ok, I will.”
Mom returns from the bathroom:
Shane: (pointing to a gray wig) “I think you should get this one!”
Mom: “You’re just saying that because its gray!”
Shane: (laughs) “So?”
Courtney: “Lynn, long necks aren’t bad. Models have long necks!”
Mom: (feeling her neck) “Oh! Well, if models have long necks..."
Now, since I know Mom will read this I can’t say what else this story has inspired, but it is good!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Mom, Mommy, Momma, MOM!
I can’t even begin to imagine life without my Mom. She is so strong. She is capable of handling whatever life throws at her-even a broken pelvis and ankle immediately followed by Light Chain Myeloma. Sure, she has her moments. Those times where she cries and cries, those times when she is unsure what the future holds or how much she really wants to fight to get through this whole thing, or even those times when she no longer feels pretty (even though she is and always will be whether she has a full head of hair or a mullet or no hair at all!). But she never gives up that fight. She never lets go completely. She is always hanging on-even if it is to that one single thread. She is an inspiration (to me and to others).
Even in the midst of her own deep struggle she cares about other people…she makes sure to mail that check before she leaves for six weeks. She orders (and delivers!) an item for a friend. She fights with all her might to stay awake just until you leave her side (after all, she doesn’t want to miss one minute of life!). She takes a walk with her son in the hospital so he can have a chance to meet “that cute, nice nurse” even though she knows the nurse is already gone for the day. She writes “thank you” notes to be mailed to people who have taken care of her son while she has been dealing with al of this. She stays up all night to finish a quilt she started months ago so she can give it away. She never dwells on her own situation for too long when there are other people to care about.
This is love.
Even in the midst of her own deep struggle she cares about other people…she makes sure to mail that check before she leaves for six weeks. She orders (and delivers!) an item for a friend. She fights with all her might to stay awake just until you leave her side (after all, she doesn’t want to miss one minute of life!). She takes a walk with her son in the hospital so he can have a chance to meet “that cute, nice nurse” even though she knows the nurse is already gone for the day. She writes “thank you” notes to be mailed to people who have taken care of her son while she has been dealing with al of this. She stays up all night to finish a quilt she started months ago so she can give it away. She never dwells on her own situation for too long when there are other people to care about.
This is love.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Follow up and food
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Joel and I had a fabulous time at Saratoga Resort and Spa. It was more like a lodge or a very large cabin than a spa, which was nice. We spent the whole two days relaxing and exploring the town and talking. It was exactly what we needed. We also decided getting away like that is something we want to do at least every other month. Not anywhere fancy, just somewhere away from home and work.
Easter was a good day. We went to church at Cowboy Church with Mom, Lane, Becca, Shane, Josh and the Blandin’s. (except we didn’t sit with all those crazy people! LOL Love you all!) The message was good and something both Joel and I needed to hear. Then we proceeded to Texas Roadhouse for lunch with Geoff, Patti, Bailey, Kacey, Kirk, and Eileen. It was great fun! We all decided we need to do holiday meals that way more often. Then Joel and I spent a quiet afternoon at home followed by a few fun games of bowling with Dad, Josh and Lane (Mom came too, but she didn’t bowl). We had fun telling stories, talking, and eating those yummy French Fries!
On a different note:
I love baking. I love the smells and the rich tastes. I love chocolate. I love lemon. I love almost anything sweet! Sometimes I forget how much I love to bake. Like when life gets busy. And boy has life been busy lately. It finally started to slow down a little a few weeks ago. I made brownies. And they were good. And I made cookies. And they were good too. I can’t imagine why I don’t make time to bake once a week. It is relaxing and oh so yummy! I think I need to start doing this. Now if only I could convince my Hubbin to love what I bake as much as I do! :)
Joel and I had a fabulous time at Saratoga Resort and Spa. It was more like a lodge or a very large cabin than a spa, which was nice. We spent the whole two days relaxing and exploring the town and talking. It was exactly what we needed. We also decided getting away like that is something we want to do at least every other month. Not anywhere fancy, just somewhere away from home and work.
Easter was a good day. We went to church at Cowboy Church with Mom, Lane, Becca, Shane, Josh and the Blandin’s. (except we didn’t sit with all those crazy people! LOL Love you all!) The message was good and something both Joel and I needed to hear. Then we proceeded to Texas Roadhouse for lunch with Geoff, Patti, Bailey, Kacey, Kirk, and Eileen. It was great fun! We all decided we need to do holiday meals that way more often. Then Joel and I spent a quiet afternoon at home followed by a few fun games of bowling with Dad, Josh and Lane (Mom came too, but she didn’t bowl). We had fun telling stories, talking, and eating those yummy French Fries!
On a different note:
I love baking. I love the smells and the rich tastes. I love chocolate. I love lemon. I love almost anything sweet! Sometimes I forget how much I love to bake. Like when life gets busy. And boy has life been busy lately. It finally started to slow down a little a few weeks ago. I made brownies. And they were good. And I made cookies. And they were good too. I can’t imagine why I don’t make time to bake once a week. It is relaxing and oh so yummy! I think I need to start doing this. Now if only I could convince my Hubbin to love what I bake as much as I do! :)
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